Hey, Adam curry Jhansi Devorah Sunday December
22 2019 This is your award winning get my nation media
assassination episode 12 101 This is no agenda, holding hands
telling stories and broadcasting almost live from opportunity's
own 33 the frontier of Austin, Texas capital, the growing Star
State in the morning, everybody. I'm Adam curry,
and from Northern Silicon Valley where the weather has changed
once again, to kind of nil. I'm John Cena for aqua, Raglan
Buzzkill. The
amazing how you can do a weather report on a show like this
yield from the Buzzkill. Because there's no weather it is like
pre recorded.
Yes, this is episode 1201. We are almost live, which means
we're not. I'm on a quick trip with the keeper in New York.
John, God knows what you're doing. You probably just sit at
home, you'd probably just sitting in your chair listening
to the show as it rolls, aren't
you? Exactly.
Now, this is a special show. And we actually solicited this, you
want to explain what we're doing today on the show? Yeah, what
happened was one of our producers, and there's been this
has happened a couple of times, but this guy decided hey, you
know, I like John stories maybe cannot make what would you think
if I put a collection together? And we ended up just be a bunch
of anecdotes, because they're amusing. And so he did and we
listened to it. And it was funny to a point of course I'm you
know, more bad critical myself.
By the way. The person we're talking about is Sir Ruben
waffles. He was knighted for this and Sarup and waffles and
put this project together.
Yes, let's get that straight. And then after that he did one
of Adam's stories because I felt it was unbalanced. And that we
did we're not playing that today. Because apparently I have
enough stories to carry a show. And so that's what we're going
to play. Now. We're going to start this off with Adams kind
of discussion of how this came about. And kind of a meta sense,
we're going to play that. And that's going to go right into
the stories.
I have a note two notes. One. We this is two shows that hadn't
been written out and gotten to it. We have a producer project,
which I think it'd be fantastic for a future show a compilation
show. And this is not an easy task. It's only for people who
really have been listening to the show for a while and kind of
know where to where to where to seek this out. We think it would
be a great show to have John's stories, just one after another.
So the stories like you know you would when you're frozen on the
motorcycle trying to pick up the chick. And other ones when you
were learning how to fight chemical fires with
a bunch of mechs he told the story last night about my like
just first time I shot an elephant gun story.
Oh, we don't know this story. He is a fine example. Story. No,
no, I don't think so.
All right. So I'm shooting with this guy. First of all, he's a
Silicon Valley CEO and he makes me promise to never mentioned
that he was doing this. He's shooting because he's got a huge
gun collection is great to shoot with him. So I'm shooting with
him. He does mention this one side story which is he says
above all people, he says Do not tell John Doerr, the Kleiner
Perkins. Because John Doerr is an extreme anti gun nut up to
the point where there was a Halloween party recently, not
recently. It's probably five or six years. I remember the story.
Yes, somebody comes in with a in a, like a kid's cowboy outfit as
their Halloween thing.
I think that was Randy, who's the guy who wrote the riddle and
the monk Randy douchebag.
I don't know. Comments on
Randy commissar Yeah,
comes in with this with the cowboy outfit on and if toy gun
and apparently door went ballistic over this toy gun
being at the party, I've heard this story. Anyway, so we go out
shooting and so on, we shooting all these different guns, they
get the shoot of Massoud fireball, which is a really
interesting gun to shoot and some other things and so this is
elephant gun. And so he says, so I actually hit the target and
that was a big deal because you can't really aim it because you
can't really hold it steady enough as you get it was one of
the shots where you're where you're moving because a damn gun
weighs like 50 pounds you just try moving around and you as it
crosses the target you shoot hoping to hit the target that
kind of thing. But before I where that gives me this second
football thing is a bunch of padding Oh giant shoulder Yeah,
big thing. And so this gun you shoot this thing and you go back
about I don't know four feet is what you know watch it pushes
you back and so I JC was also shooting and I shoot this thing
has had no this thing is like is not by any fun at all. And so
The next day I went I took a shower. This is the punchline to
the story. I take off my shirt and I look my entire chest the
right side of my chest was one solid black and blues. Yeah.
shoulder down to the stomach. It was this is what the padding.
There's some powerful weapons out there. Oh yeah. Okay, so
let's not include that one. But there's others I
only got two then I took my motorcycle up to Tahoe. The cddb
Kings II up there to see BB King and I figured I gambled And how
old were you? I don't remember 24 Something like that. You have
like long flowing hair and I have very thin hair. I still
have the pretty much the hair. It was the motorcycle kind of
motorcycle. I was a Kawasaki triple. Anyway rice
burner okay.
Oh as fast hair wood. I forgot too long. I get the split ends
and make my face itch. So I never could go really long hair
is driving me nuts. So I go up there and I go to the tables
before the concert. And I when I don't know, to $300 and I saw
that. That is spending the night I'm going to come back after the
BB King concert. I go watch and I had a great seat right front
it was like allowing Jack BB King and we were doing blow or
just drinking anything no scotch, no weed. I'm on a
motorcycle bad enough with a big gouges in highway ad that you
get killed just driving back. So I say the concert tours around
me and I say hell with it. I'm driving home. I'll save the
hotel cost and I'll just drive home. So it's it's not quite
snowing, but it's below zero. So it's pretty sad. I got
you and you're aware that it's snowing.
And it's but I'm gonna get there it says once I get down the hill
it's not going to be snowing for long. Wow. So I start to get
what do you call when you get too cold? It's called
hypothermia. Hypothermia. I start getting hypothermia. So
I'm driving a Lambo and so I go into a gas station and make the
mistake of warming up which is you know, cuz you gotta be cold
yet you want to kind of keep you you don't want to go warm, cold,
warm cold. So I got so I started shivering like a maniac after I
left the gas station after I've warmed up going to see once that
was so I started driving on the entrance. There is a beautiful
woman hitchhiking I mean, dynamite you can she was dressed
up in a lot of gear and you can just see your face is fantastic.
And so she said shaking, and I pullovers to ask her if she
wants to go but hey, hey, I'm so polar freezing I say to her. And
she takes a look at me like I'm a crazy guy. She pulls out her
gun. She knows she slowly walks backwards like Homer Simpson
says no. And I realized like Well fuck it and yeah. I
couldn't talk.
How to pick up chicks by John C. Dvorak.
I visited the the mansion or the former mansion of the anti bello
or the Civil War. I guess he was a state officer, Cassius Clay,
who was Henry Clay's? I think his brother okay. And caches
Clay had this place out and outside. I think it's outside of
Lexington, Kentucky. People are going to start writing Dude, I
don't know anything. But I think it's a Lexington so I went in
there and caches clays is very famous get senator. And he one
time a cannon apparently. And he was an abolitionist, which was
not popular in the area. And so they tried to like fuck with
him. And the locals. And so then the including the sheriff and
and the local police, and he had a cannon in front of his house
that he filled with shrapnel. And when they came to, you know,
either get him or arrest him or harass him or whatever they're
going to do. He'd shoot it at
him. Which was his second amendment rights being
exercised.
Exactly. And, you know, eventually they stopped coming
over. And he needed to do that. Otherwise, you know, bad things
were gonna happen to him. No thanks to the local authorities.
And I've always thought that was like, you know, people moan and
groan about it assault weapons hold arrest. Skye has like a
cannon that he's shooting and so so I'm always thinking back on
that like go what would have happened if he didn't have the
cannon. I was in the lunch and play They said, talking to some
guy was like a big one. These guys went to all his concerts
like I used to do. And I noticed there's a one curious thing that
happened at the concert that I thought was was odd. In the
middle of one of their songs, which one of the songs that had
a break in it when they they be singing insane and going crazy
to have a break and then they didn't Jimmy Page would rip into
a guitar solo. At the moment of the break, somebody in the left
hand back corner lead out a blood curdling shriek that match
beautifully the timing and everything was perfect for the
music and it was like it really added a dimension to the song
was actually like stabbed. Now, it was just somebody screeching,
and but it always stuck in my mind is like, awkwardly perfect.
Uh huh. Yeah. I went to this guy, and I said, did you What
did you go? And he went some months. Some other day. I said,
did you notice? And I pointed out to a specifically this blood
curdling shriek at this one moment in the song and that left
in the back of the room, you know, in the corner. And he
said, Yeah, I thought that was weird. I heard that too. So
apparently, they were ahead of their times with setting these
shields into the audience. Oh, cool. Yeah, that's what I was
thinking. But you know, ever since then, I think I've been
skeptical but everything. I had this book and it reminded me of
this. I told people this. I can look at a guy and tell if he's
had a vasectomy really is face to face. And I'm not talking
about you know, your two. Okay,
wait, let me just get this straight. Let me just get this
straight. So amongst your many talents, and remember, John has
worked for oil companies. He's a master chef. He's a wine
connoisseur. He's a technology expert. He used to hand deliver
PC magazine to all 30,000 subscribers. Bowler tonight. Not
only that, but you can tell just by looking at a guy's face
whether he's had a vasectomy or not.
Yeah. Okay, now how I got clued into this. Let me back up a
little bit. Oh, please do this. I had oops out the backed up too
far. So I had this book and I just irked no and that I've lost
his book, although I think I might be able to find it. In the
one of the library searches that Google and Microsoft are doing.
I think it's still around. It was a book done in the 20s. And
in the 1920s. That book, unhealth in the 1920s. The sack
tummies were used as a way of making people look more
youthful. It was actually a wasn't for birth control. It was
done guy which it was done for the purposes of like, instead of
a facelift, you get a vasectomy, and make you look younger. And
they showed all these pictures in this book. And, and I looked
at these pictures, I looked at enough of them. And then I know
enough guys who had vasectomies, that I look at that, and I could
see what it does, it makes for some reason, and it does. You
know, I talked to people about this what it says it makes no
sense because all it does is this scenario, how could it do
what you're describing? I'm just saying in the 20s. The SEC
tummies were used as a youth serum, we'll get a vasectomy and
they look younger, by a little bit but in fact, they didn't
look younger, they look different they and it makes your
face a little puffier and a little more. It's a little
softer. It's kind of hard to describe, but I'm telling you
the truth I have seen and I've asked actually done this with
friends that you know that have had Vic SEC dummies and just
without combat. I just look at him. So you've had a vasectomy.
Right? And the guys 99% of the time I'm right. I was Judy xovis
van der BGF lezen done vert Jaya in de la Vega Landon Onga Val de
vich Roy, John ROG Amara and Bobby
There's nothing funnier than making you say stuff in Dutch
Bingi Dawn Vaughn Julie Dawn Julie Jin Duan fantastisch that
you
know you're Dutch you when you go to Holland, Q are getting
laid so bad my friend if you just say that because what you
just said there was great
Martine Van Gogh Lin in Benin Lu when
you know he sends in his donation just to hear you
message it's more time for Colin loss Yeah, that my
dying fomka Colin loss and the Highland less fallen last been
highly last column.
Colin Benito Awan.
Yeah. Greg Vaughn trip to Vaughn treat, prep, prep, prep, prep,
prep, right. Forget it.
One tribe Get it together,
man font, right?
Font, right? Yeah, there you go. Nailed it. Yeah, yeah. Nailed
it.
Uh oh yeah, awesome.
Nailed it. Geron Vaughn
are okay let's try urine urine Vaughn. Don't be a dick just you
rune.
You rune you go fun our been our from psych shake Psych. Like
psych strike.
No. Strike strike close
enough Jaren honey guy your own hurting your own hunting
girl hurting her. Just don't make fun of it just tried to do
it hurting ha. Hunting ha it there's no end you're putting an
end where there isn't hurting.
Let the HA know that get the end and there's an end in
there. But isn't it but you putting the end before the T
It's hurting.
Booting ha or who I say what you're saying? Okay, you're
right. In winning gun.
boggling.
Yeah. Okay. There's this woman that came on that PBS newshour
and unfortunately their news our ball is wonders that they are
wouldn't really go after her or son for not answering any
questions whatsoever. She's Lisa Monaco. And you can look her up
and she just looks like she hot. No. She looks like a person that
couldn't get a date if she wanted to. And
because she's that's no no, no, I'm not gonna tell you that this
yarn
video is different. She's She's more photogenic than she is.
Then she when you see her MBA actually moving
there's there a Bre report.com has very flattering picture of
her.
Well, she's not flattering, especially after you listen to
her talk.
I love the one with her in the bra. Let's just not it's not her
bra, right. This is important. She has. Yeah, the sun Monaco.
Give it up for Raven.
John, are you making it rain again? Someone's getting
cornhole today. Sounds like a recipe for success. John, you
actually just did a strip bar announcement didn't you? Yeah.
I know guys who do that job.
I've done it when I was 16 I did it in Amsterdam. Do the do it.
Do it and I'll play the clip.
Well, no, because it doesn't lead into the clip problem. But
again, I like to get these things out in an absolute
fashion.
What you have to do here you're welcome to the stage when
someone makes it rain.
Everybody give it up for him. You already did Amber. Raven How
do you know these
straight from receita here she is
Raven give it up.
Up next Bambi Bambi i to the stage?
The stage Wow. You do know it?
Okay, I'll do Raven then we get and then we'll come back to you.
Great from receita here she is gray man give it up ladies and
gentlemen, a big round of applause for that cookie tot
bombshell Janine as she comes off the stage find her at the
private dance rooms where you can live like a king with lap
dances on sale. That's where your discount coupon and free
private dance card available at the bar by 10 dances get one
free now to the main stage is Serota. She likes dirt bikes
Dirty Dancing dirty boys in Star Trek as Sue would say oh my
Sharona give it up the Sharona Julian Dinesh and Donna will be
doing a lesbian act on stage to bring them up bring them up.
Julian Donna these two hotties can be seen at the club on
Wednesday but wrestling today and the girls will give you a
voucher for free entrance
is that it? Yes. Then we had someone to forget his wallet in
the champagne room.
Oh something for lunch was data ladies and gentlemen wallet
found all right, John. I don't know I'm gonna go shopping. I
think I'm gonna do some Christmas shopping.
I haven't even started that's this week. I'm gonna do
Christmas shopping.
I did get a good bottle of a quality vinegar that they were
selling in a close out price yesterday. I felt real good
about that. Oh, I'm
so happy for you.
You know what I always like to do is get a good white wine
vinegar. I make my own vinegar too. But I don't use the white
with the stuff that's commercial, my good white wine
vinegar and then you buy a bunch of Terragen and then you take
get half of it if it's a big enough bunch and just shove it
in the vinegar, and you just leave it in there for about
three to six months, and then you use that vinegar, and it's
an outstanding product.
Another Qunari tip from Jhansi Dvorak.
The thing that's interesting about PG Tips to me and a lot of
these other teas, and we're talking about Sainsbury's has a
nice theoretical red label, which is a competitor is that
the British over when they were colonizing the world? They did
these long term deals all over the place for things like tea.
So they essentially have, I don't know how long the contract
is for the various T providers. But they get some of the best T
into work because they kind of locked down his deals
permanently back in the 1800s.
Isn't that in some way? Related to upcoming December 16? Where
it wouldn't when we commemorate the Boston Tea Party?
Yeah, the Boston Tea Parties you know, there's a there's a if you
study in American history, of course, this gets pretty
peculiar as to why the Boston Tea Party took place. But they
were trying to shove tea down everybody's throat and they were
also stealing it from China and making them take opium. But
really that was that was later.
It was hasn't opium give us the tea.
One of the guys in the papers in the 2000 word 2000. Word 2000.
page document. 2000 Plus pages is Marvin Minsky. Big shot at
the Media Lab, major, major guy I remember running into him a
fight. He personally threw me out of a meeting.
Do tell this we need to hear this that tells us first who
Marvin Minsky is and then Marvin kicked out of invading
one of the famous artificial intelligence. All right, I Yeah,
some of the 80s the first go round, and maybe even the one
before he every 30 years or so. This artificial AI
didn't he didn't you kind of write the book on artificial
intelligence wrote a book.
At least he published it.
Well, you got me on that. So I got invited as a lark, by wil
Hearst, to go into the Media Lab with the executives of the
Hearst corporation who are getting a a tour that you were
you didn't have to sign a nondisclosure. Uh huh. And I was
like, person and I were just wondering, we're in the kind of
just wandering, we're just in the group, those about 123,
maybe 689 people, and including the CEO, and Randy Hurst, and
all these other people were going through this thing, and we
get to see the dog and pony show that they put on was where I
found out a number of interesting things I used later
in certain columns, because I could, I didn't have to worry
about nondisclosure being non disclosed on any of it. So we're
going from meeting to meeting where these guys are just full
of crap. And they're showing us everything in the place. Good,
great tour. And I have a few ribald comments to make. And so
we go into this final meeting. And there's Minsky in there with
the guys ahead of time, whose name is eluding me vault with
Wired Magazine. And Minsky sees me he knows who I am. And he
says, What's this guy doing here?
What's Devorah ag doing here?
Pretty much this guy. And everybody's looking left and
right. And I'm sitting there with a stupid smile on my face.
And they asked me to leave. Yeah. So we'll actually we'll
left with me, the two of us left.
Oh, that's cool. I believe it was showing solidarity.
From what I could tell. Yeah. And so we'd love to be in that
it was at the end anyway. So who cares? And we went out and did
some in Boston somewhere. And then as you left, like, that's
the mouse guy. So there's a restaurant opening up down this,
you know, from the poncho headquarters. If you go down?
Was it Bryant No, Brannon going on brand and to fourth, I guess,
be just a little bit beyond that. So I was what you were
doing this, I was spending the day down in Half Moon Bay at the
Ritz Carlton at the Always On conference with a bunch of
venture capital guys. Right. And, you know, I didn't get that
much out of I did see a bunch of people I needed to see. And you
know, schmoozed and the PR woman that runs the Ritz Carlton,
there used to be my Booker at Tech TV. The Booker Booker.
Yeah. And she used to and so I have no oranges. And you know,
she has been fine. You could spend the night you know, you
have for you know, whatever. I can't go down. Oh, cool. It's
just me, but you know, she's she's, she's a nice woman. Okay.
All right. Well, you sound like one of these guys who's on the
forum here. You know, she's, she's,
I mean it I John, I say I say this to the office about women.
I say don't i Why should I be any different on this show?
Yeah,
there's the evidence against you and Anyway, so through. She's a
good looking woman. I've always liked her. She's very pleasant,
and a great PR person. She's really smart. But I didn't know
she was a mega foodie. Oh, wow. And so she's starting her own
agency, and she's going to do wine and food, PR. Well,
excellent. Excellent, because we have it anyway. The tour, I got
to meet the chef and I got to tour that place. I did all this
stuff. Do you know what that was going on and had a bunch of, you
know, free food down there. I don't know where that story was
going. I had a point to make before you brought up that.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Some years ago, I got irked listening to Carly Fiorina give
a speech and I noticed other women CEOs started to say this
phrase, and this the phrase that bugs me, and the phrase is by
and large, and by and large, by and large, and I never I could
never tell whether it was by enlarge, or by and large. And
what does it mean by and large? So I heard some guy on the TV
the other night saying it some one of the politicians is well
by and large, blah, blah, blah. I don't think and by and large
by and large. What where does this phrase come from? And why
do people use it? And what does it mean? And how and what is it?
Is it by and large? Is it by enlarge? It just, I can't tell
you from doesn't come from like Old English or something,
does it? And why are we using it? I mean, I just wanted to say
I actually was gonna bring it up. I think maybe I mentioned it
on one of these things that just when I hear it, I just cringe. I
don't know why that it annoys me so much. It's
also probably a phrase that someone is implementing that,
you know, just to buy some time while they're thinking about
what bullshit they're gonna say next.
By and large, that's probably true. So let's talk about Star
Wars.
Oh, I have not seen Star Wars obviously. I would say Force
Awakens is the title of The Force Awakens.
It is what I thought it was. I'd read a bunch of hold on John,
stop, stop
for a second. I think maybe it would be more interesting. If
the way you review the movie, you could convince me to
actually go see it. Do you think that's possible? No. Well, then
hold on. Let me get my beer and then I'll just listen to you.
Alright, go ahead.
It was a for me. That's what I guess soda
all right. The review of Star Star Wars The Movie.
All right. I first I've read all the negative reviews before I
went to see it to get in the mood. Yeah. And the best review
which I think people should take with them when they go see the
movie. They haven't seen it already. It's they're running a
lot in this movie. They are running and running and running
and running. There's
a lot of running so a lot of running that way. Isn't there a
hot new girl in the in the cast?
Yeah, this is the girl that that did that interview. I sent you
the link to the
coke. The Coke had the coke. That one that one? She's cute.
Oh, she's very cute. She's really she's a pleasant actress.
She really is. Pleasant. She's pleasant. She's good. She's
she's not a crappy actress. She's a good actress. I mean,
for all you need. And Daisy,
Daisy, really, really right?
And she is very. She fits the role should be great. And what
role does she play? She plays the heroine. The damsel in
distress.
Somehow Princess Leia. She's
not princess she is in the movie. She's now the general and
everybody says another thing. Oh, this movie is just about how
why we should elect Hillary. Yeah, I got a note from one of
our nights today. But one of our producers who said I saw the
movie. It's just a pull motion for a Hillary. So we discussed
it. We had JC his wife, Mimi, myself, J We're all sitting
around afterwards doing a post mortem on the movie. J. The
youngest of the group. Yes. hated it. hated it. She hated it
because it was quote unquote, boring. I didn't think it was
boring. Me me, man. She could take it or leave it. She didn't
think much. I
can hardly believe Mimi sat through the whole thing.
I'm surprised she went
she must really love you guys.
So but it's it was very I thought it was entertaining. It
was exactly the same as episode for the orig An old 1977 movie
with just a few little twists here and there, but it started
off the same it was the same story it was a reboot. And it
was a good reboot I thought it worked out well and there was a
lot of says not a lot of CG there was there was for that
movie. I think there'd be more they still use a lot of models.
They did it the old fashioned way. And when they blew stuff up
they used you know, they real real dynamite right? Yeah, real
dynamite and it makes a difference it really looks like
something's blowing up it doesn't look like these phony
things that you see in like, Transformers or whatever a lot
of CG and it's faster and cheaper apparently to do it this
way. The CG guys are just over the top with their expenses.
Your computer guys now the movie itself. I don't know if you want
to see it if you're not if you see if you haven't seen them
all.
No, I have not even seen the Empire Strikes Back so
okay, what you shouldn't go No. JC said that. He thought it was
good because he would already brought himself to the point of
maximum disappointment by watching the those prequels that
they did which were terrible. And this was so far above that
in terms of quality, there are plot holes all over the place.
There's too much running or running and running and running.
Just constantly.
I can just I can jog for access. Too much running now. Now the
force really good. In
fact, at one point near the end of the movie, Daisy Ridley, who
plays a woman called Ray who has
to try and just snort the
car know that she uses cocaine but if you look at this thing,
this clip that was an interview of her she seemed kind of
hammered. And at the end she suddenly when confronted with
something minor she runs she runs out and says running just
because hey we've gone five minutes without any running
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. But you're
gonna eat a giant
bug on the show? Yeah, just to see what it tastes like.
Gee, what do you have? What do you have lined
up? One of those locusts that deep fried locusts? You want
to do it right off the bat? I don't think I can wait for this.
Really? I don't know I mean, give me the background.
I just got this giant locusts to eat well oh no,
you know let's let's keep it let's keep it until after the
donation you
got me going? I just I just broke the seal.
No, you can't do that. Stay All right. Tell me the background.
Where'd you get this? Where'd you get this thing? What's going
on? Who's on First?
came in the mail under the bug program in the Berkeley area.
Wait a minute. It came in the mail and you're gonna eat it?
Yeah, me right now.
Best podcasts the universe brings you
like blue John C. Dvorak eating a cricket
tastes like poop all right, who
sent you that who sent you that
bug as your corn nuts?
Oh, no.
I mean you should have written now. All right. Nice. I want to
fool the public. All righty. All right, good. You fooled sounded
very authentic. I'll say. Very authentic. I was impressed.
Going about the dirty 30s I got a couple more for you. Ah, the
dirty 30s Yes,
let's go.
Okay, yeah, what do you think all the way means?
All the way means going all the way and he's hardly at home run
in round three bases and where it's penetration time
chocolate cake or fudge with ice cream? Boo ki do
come sorry if that change somewhere along the lines
all wet. All wet. Yeah, all wet here is all wet.
All wet means he's out of money.
No good means he's no good. He's no good. Okay, well, you're not
getting any of these now. I'm Ameche horn blower the blower
the blower caught get get out on the blower. I
already blew it. It's a phone. I know the blower being a fun
Yeah. Okay. Apple, Apple.
But
any big town or city? New York being the big
big apple interesting.
Bay broad debt is the terms Bay broad Dame doll frail twist
muffin and kitten Xur. Baby to baby babies acute BSer it's a
glass of milk. Oh. What's it been shooter a get a rod or
Rosco a heater a convinced her
a weapon of some sort gun. Yeah, gun
again. I gotta get Okay. Where's your Roscoe bring it again. I
like I like Roscoe
Roscoe your Roscoe I'm strapped with my Roscoe bro
what's beat beat
beat beat is your beat is where you where you walk or your
neighborhood your place your peers you're broke Oh your beat
beat a dead beat that's very broke.
Yeah, yeah exactly behind the grind
behind the grind. He is backstage at an MTV show
behind in one studies. Okay. Big House who's Gao?
Big House the big house the boss who is Gao? Who's Gao? I don't
know who's got who's go prison. Oh, the
big Oh, okay. Gotcha the big house. Yes, I should have known
that one.
You should have known that one. That's one against that's minus
one. bleed. bleed. I'm gonna bleed him
to cut someone.
No to extort her
black. No, read them. rip them off. Yeah. I'm sucking at this
guy.
You don't you totally blow.
Get me on the blower.
No, that was the phrase totally blown. blinkers, lamps, pies,
shutters peepers boobs. She's got great paper says yeah, had I
got one. No, it's eyes. Oh, please. That's about diners.
That's about boobs. shutters
and lamps now. Okay, lamps. We're going to do this next
show. Ready? Yeah. Blow your wig.
To get on the plane as the president
is good, good answer, but it means to become very excited.
Yes, I
thought was to get very mad. But yeah, blow your top while you're
awake. I've heard those
30 years anyways, we got to get a few of these back and play.
Like Roscoe. Roscoe is
good. I like that. Yeah. What else? Give me another one. All
right. I'm annoyed that I get this wrong.
Okay, you get this one. Boos coach giggle juice and mule.
Wow. That's alcohol. The whiskey and this right. Close enough.
Yeah. Here's a good one. You'd never get this. Brody. Brody.
You can ask me to use it in a sentence.
Could you use the word in a sentence please? Yeah, I pulled
a Brody. Oh, it's like some massive failure. Ah, right. But
where does it come from?
Is that mistake and where does it come from? I don't know. But
I always thought I didn't realize it went back to the 30s
because I remember when did you use the word Brody and how we
started refer to the 40 Niners quarterback in the 50s. Okay.
Brody,
did you do something really bad,
though he used to always flip running around the field they
like like he was being chased by wild dogs. And he was known for
making making quick U turns and it was always I always thought
when they said pull the Brody I thought that meant just turn
around and go the other way. So I was befuddled apparently when
I was a kid. One more. One more last one. Okay, it's a bunch of
them again. Bruno's goons patch it men, torpedoes and trigger
men.
Yeah, well, these are foot soldiers of some mob. Yeah.
hired
gunmen or other tough guys. How about Okay, one last one more
just because you need this one.
bold, bold sentence. He's got a bulge. Oh. Got a lot of money.
Having an advantage?
Well, that's all man. It's like Battle of the Bulge. I guess I'm
not sure. Okay. But that well, that was in the 40s. So that
couldn't have been Battle of the Bulge. But don't use the last
era. Yes. Well, I tried to bring some of it
back. Well, so far all we have. So far. We have as Roscoe
Roscoe. I loved Roscoe Yeah.
And I'd like to find out where that's from.
So we're shopping at Tarjay. And there's a there's a I'm having
trouble. This hat only happens once in a while. I usually have
pretty good line karma. Which is the karma where you there's a
bunch of people in line, the distances are pretty much equal.
You pick a line and you'll hope that you get through the line
faster. Faster, thin than normal. Yeah. And I'm I have a
racist, racist when it comes to this and I'm going to explain
now. My wife says you're a racist. My racist comment is, if
the checker that's working, the register is black. Go there.
That's very racist. Instead of you, John, why, why is this what
is their fast, they actually do a better job. So why are black
Americans faster than white Americans?
They just like the competition or something. I don't know. It
just always surprises me how much faster they are, but they
crank and I always compliment them at the end. I always
sometimes and you can if you go to a Costco, you can just sit
back and watching to see one line moving like a son of a
bitch in one line, nothing. See, again, the fast moving lines,
always some black guy just cranking away. So I always say
to them, you're fast, and they always really appreciate the
compliment.
Oh, well, I should try that somebody but I think you should
say you're much faster than them white people I think you should
try med doing now. Okay? That would really,
this happened at target by the way I got into wrong land with
some woman. checker is always in part time. And there's a black
guy and I don't know why he didn't go into black guys,
because he just cleared the line. I'm still standing behind
this. This amateur couple of students from University of
California, obviously, wild white guy with his Chinese
girlfriend, Cal Student, typical good looking woman by the way,
she's about 21. And she can't use the thing with the credit
card. She can know where to scan and she's dicking around she's
looking at what does this mean? He sees pointing port push that
push that and it's taking for ever. The woman that does a
checker she decides to get into a long conversation with them
that turned the thing around and she said no, no, you want this.
So then at the just one of these it's a debit card. I suppose in
this she decides to get cash back. And we're sitting there
waiting. There's other lines done and waiting waiting when
she gets she wants cash back in quarters. So she's stolen out
she's got to crack in a couple quarters things asking the next
guy and check her over. There's enough yet eight quarters. I
mean, why quarters,
they're messing with your busy life. If I cannot believe that
they're ruined. You know what, when you get a black checker,
who does good work, you should tip that person here. Here's $1
And
I'm doing either you're much better than me in trouble. I try
to wait a minute to the moment of racism. But I'm not going to
make it clear to anybody that that's the case. In this
particular area, there are probably 1000s of bald eagles.
And you saw them oh yeah nice. They're all over
the place our past
our national bird
anybody who has been around would say the same thing.
They're past their past they kill kittens they grab kittens
little puppies. They're always on the lookout for like no
not little puppies we should have they are in the morning to
you troubled citizen I didn't know this about the E all
their total horrible animal.
Your your your defacing our national bird.
If mythbusting Okay, well, I'm very sad
to say no horrible animal. What can I say? The eagle the bald
eagle. The
Golden bald eagle is that's that
golden eagles a different animal. Oh, okay. And they're
okay. I'm a golden eagle. The bald eagle is the one that's the
real past. Golden Eagles are a little better at a
golden eagle. And eagle is freedom. John, how can freedom
be a past Golden
Eagle is when I'm in range of one. Golden Eagles have like a
500 mile or 50 mile and 50 mile range where they come around.
Everyone says I have a golden eagle that comes around once in
a while for time coming home where PG Tips. So I'm coming
home. And I go and I hear something in the backyard. I go
up to the door. And there's a bunch of seagull feathers all
over the deck now. Oh, what the hell are these Seagull feathers
doing here? And so I start to step outside and there's a
golden eagle sitting in the plum tree. He had eaten an entire
seagull.
Wow. Yeah.
So these eagles are something that what does the what does the
eight The Seagull and he left just a bunch of crap all over
the place is a mess. What what
does the what does the eagle not eat of the seagull? What does he
leave behind the beak? Oh,
they might eat rodents slaughter rodents, but puppies.
He ate the whole thing. Everything. Yeah,
yeah. But a few feathers. Wow. I was sitting there and he's
digesting this thing because he just finished filming himself
with his with his giants with his big Seagull which is a good
sized bird. And, and he looks at me. Give me a look. I've ever
had an eagle do this too. He looks at me and he goes What do
you want?
So nice. They're in California. You were in Vegas, John.
Yeah, I went to Las Vegas, Nevada. And did you lose any? No
actually, I won. I The only budget I know I don't know I
don't like to gamble I think it's just a stupid I'm not a
gambler either. But I do you know play video poker machines
because I, I know that there are certain machines if you if you
look at all the odds, it's the funniest thing. video poker
machines have a variety of odds for the exact same game from
machine to machine to machine. And I don't know, you know, I
mean, I guess nobody ever looks at these odds because there are
some machines that essentially just take your money and they're
published right it's it says right there you will lose at
least 4% On every every dime, you put it that's what
that's casino wide. But there are some machines that are
pretty close to break even on video poker. And if you know
what to look for, and this is you know, the cause they ended
odds are right on the screen. And people just ignore it. But
you don't
have to go to Vegas for that you could go to your local 711 and
play video poker Ganesha.
Yeah, you could, okay. It's just a game I liked because I had
this. There's this computer program called years ago called
the video poker tutor. And
that run on the Commodore 64 or something
not close to it anyway, they would just keep beating you down
until you figured out how to you know what the strategy was
because the video poker is not poker. It's a you know, it's a
different game altogether. And there are other strategies
involved in what you hold on what you get rid of, if you want
to approach this breakeven point. And then if you get
lucky, you can you know, walk away with some money and I tend
to always walk away with some money always. I can't say I've
made a fortune. Total Earnings. Five bucks. Right on. So my wife
comes down for Thanksgiving. She drives down from Washington. Did
she bring animals? Yeah, she brought some animals. She also
brought some some dry goods. From Washington State, you're
gonna want to get a certain
Stop, stop, stop, stop stop. One. Which animals did she
bring?
She brought a big giant dog. And a couple other dogs.
I'm gonna in total, three. Okay, and what dry goods?
stuff you can buy at these special dispensaries in
Washington? Public? Oh, those will surely be open to the
public here.
I thought you were sounded a little happy today.
No, I don't use that stuff. And I'd be mad. Wow, the lights
coming in. She's so she would listen to 15 hours straight.
Have no agenda, gentlemen, listen to the show. So she is
like you say going to Paris if you haven't been there for 10
years, and you go, Oh, this is Detroit things have changed
to say, hey, that shows pretty good. Let me guess. No, she did,
actually. But she made some interesting comments that I have
not heard. She says the show is snappier and moves faster. She
says there's more inside baseball insights material that,
you know, that we take for granted. That is very confused,
hard for new people to figure out, you know,
but I told her that and we had to discuss this because I know
that. Do we do this on purpose? I said we do it on person shows
as Oh, no, we do that on purpose. And every time I say
that, she says sure. You guys. I think it just evolved. But no,
we do stuff on purpose. And I said the idea of having our own
language calling people chip instead of their real name and
stuff like that. And we used to use different names for a booty
club example. Yeah. She says there's more of that than
before. And it's very confusing. But she says the way you listen
is that you listen What the hell is she says, What the hell are
they talking about? And then something over some something
ground and
the penny drops. And all of a sudden, like, Oh, I see what
exactly. And, and I said that this is interesting, because we
used to always have this problem with new listeners where the
show was off putting for two or three shows. He did like five
years ago. And so people just until they heard three shows.
They didn't like the show at all. But the thing, the feedback
I get now is I listened to once and I was hooked. I've had that
comment. Oh yeah, you're
right.
I think I think it's our comedic stylings that are hooking
people.
I got a couple more complaints. I forgot. You know, I've been
meeting wanting to mention this for some time. Okay. You give
peanuts out at some of these flights? Yeah. Which is probably
endangering someone but
I've had many flights where they say sorry, no peanuts on this
flight because we have someone with severe allergies and you
don't get peanuts. That's good.
Do you ever why ever sit there so there's this habit some
people have which is incredibly annoying. If the peanut eaters
that fake and, and they
Is this about peanut eating etiquette nah. Yeah. Okay. All
right. I'm good. All right. Roll it on.
You're gonna agree with this. You'll
see it you have seen where I'm worried that I might be one of
those people I'm really hope
not. So they take they got you got a bag, a little bitty dinky
bag of peanuts. It's not enough peanuts do
anything. It's about 17 peanuts in it dumped a penis
in your mouth. You're good to go. No, no, that's not the way
it works with some of these guys. They have to dump the
peanuts in their right hand. They dump like a palm Filipina
soul bag, or at least at least half the bag goes in their
hands. Then they make a fist. Yeah.
Then they shake.
You're describing my old man, by the way to a tee. He's a dirty,
dirty pennant and whether they create a small opening at the
end of the fist, and dirt try to shoot a couple of peanuts into
their mouths.
This of course is completely the wrong way to eat peanuts. Well,
for one thing, it gets peanut grease all of your hand, which
is you know, not necessarily good at and salt, but does
Shake, shake, shake, and so they're chewing and shakin, shoo
in and shake and chew and and shake it and they throw a couple
more peanuts in their mouth and chew some more. While shaking
and shaking. It just is annoying. It's the most annoying
thing I've ever seen. Hey, man, and then they're done. They got
down to the PSN they start then they start doing this thing with
their hands to get all the salt and grease off during the
slapping themselves. Okay, John,
this is exactly how am I how I've seen my father eat peanuts.
This is very unusual. No, it's not. I think it's that unusual.
What is the correct way to eat peanuts in a plane?
There's a lot of ways you can take. You can take the peanut
bag. And just if you like tossing the peanuts back toss
from the bag.
I always ask the flight attendant to feed me.
Yeah, well, they rarely do that. I gave up on that idea.
Okay, I'm sorry. While
on the flight, I should mention this. A number of and probably a
dozen idiots are coming down the aisle with this huge backpack.
Your favorite? Yes, the huge backpack up and left and right
there.
That in the guy who's got the too wide of a roller bag. And he
has instead of picking it up like you're like a normal
person, he has to roll it. So he's dragging the roller bag
banging into things he can't get it and he's backing up and going
forward because the bag is always hitting one of the seats.
And this was an old 730
Someone saw and did someone swing around and hit you in the
face where their bag as usual or no but almost
had almost to show my son moved by donate to no agenda. Imagine
all the people who could do that. Oh yeah, that'd be fun and
we do have a few people to thank for show
way, way, way, way, way, way way. The first of all, I think
your stories are fantastic. You said on the last week it would
whatever it was 1200 You said Man, the boring. Your Your
stories are actually a great part of what makes our show so
unique.
Well, I'm glad you liked my stories because apparently I
can't stop telling them.
I don't think I've heard many of them twice. Well now I have
very very seldomly do we repeat a story. There's a couple of
them in there. But it's nice. I always think of no agenda as you
came for the deconstruction but you stayed for the stories,
particularly John stories. They're just good man that good.
I'll just have this whole show transcribed. And.
And there's, there's my book. There's my memoirs, ladies and
gentlemen. Well, I believe that sir Reuben waffles who
graciously put this together. And of course, he's an executive
producer of this program, that he also has a Adam stories. But
that is for another time. This is all about you. And of course,
we do want to continue to get your involvement and support for
the show. Since we go ahead,
so that's why we took this extra break, we took a break in the
middle of because we want to mention that you people who have
donated for this show will be mentioned on the next show. And
we'll have a little longer segment. And we want to just
encourage you to make sure that you know that we still need
continued support. So we thought we'd break in here and at least
ask for it.
And we'll be back with a live show right after Christmas. So
Christmas. What day is Christmas? Christmas is on
obviously the 25th That's a Tuesday. No, it's Wednesday. So
So Thursday, which in a lot of the rest of the world is also a
holiday. It's the second day of Christmas Boxing Day in the UK.
The second Christmas day in the Netherlands. It's a holiday but
we will be working for you. We will and and we'll bring you
whatever has been going on in the world. Maybe you'll have
some From New York that I can share for right now. Thank you
all for supporting our value for value network, all credits will
be given on the next program. Let's continue now with episode
12 101. With the second half of John's storytime as I prefaced
in the beginning of the program, I'm doing some archival work. I
want to collect our stories you have you been particularly great
stories. And it's nice if we can kind of put them together. You
know, you had told the story about the proper way to eat nuts
on the show on the last show. Yes, yes. Yeah. And of course,
you said this one before, so I decide I'm going to archive it.
So I'm just going to archive it. We'll put it on our album. Nut
story. Yeah, here it is. Just so you can listen to it again. I
just go for John, tell us your peeve about the fisting method
of eating snacks on here.
I see this on the airplane and it's very annoying, and I think
it will result in in fights breaking out as it just so
annoying to watch. guy takes his bag of peanuts and throws a pile
of them into his palm of his hand and then he makes a fist
around the nuts. And then he shakes his fist to try to bring
a nut to the little hole stop. And then he throws a nut in his
mouth from his fist. Then he does it again. He shakes it
throws and shakes and throws. It is annoying as hell to watch.
There you go. So you actually produce that I did this one I
did. So you're this is again. A use of your time that is not
necessarily a good use of your time. But it's okay if you want
to just sit there and ridicule me for my stories
ridiculing I'm making you a legend. What are you talking
about? Back to the list.
Argentine ants.
Okay, I heard you earlier say you are killing ants. So I have
to think it's related to you have ants in your pants.
There's ants all over the place. The problem with California of
course is we have ants. And they're allowing the ants that
have taken over California some decades ago are called Argentine
ants, and they're from South America. And they're little
guys, they don't buy you're not a problem. But the weird thing
about him is that cook they're a collective. And this one is the
only ant breed that if I'm an ant in hive in an hole number 45
You know, five blocks from here and somebody comes in flushes
out the ant hole and kills all the ants except me. I can wander
over and just join a different group.
Oh, so they're they're inter social.
Yeah, and then so they don't kill each other like a lot of
these ants who will descend is not from our group Let's kill
him. Which makes the NCAA even more annoying Now
how did they get here? If they're Argentine? Or does that
just the name is credit?
No, I
just correct here.
You either somebody brought him up in an ant farm or? Or they
worked their way up? I mean,
are they destructive? Do they do they eat through stuff? Or they
just make a mess?
No, they did. You know, like all ants, they clean up that faggy
you know, if you get a crumb somewhere they find it and take
it with them. Or if there's a drop of oil, you know if it's if
they're in the oil eating mood they get either in a sugar
eating mood or an oil eating mood depends on the time of the
year. And then they but the problem is is when you run into
you what you want to do is you want to have them attack
something. So you leave like a chicken bone out or something in
the sink and you hope that they go for it. And then you let it
build long enough so you can see where the heck they're coming
in. Then you take a vacuum cleaning you're wiping them out
spot and spray it.
Oh handy extermination tips from John Cena vorhaus
kind of embarrassing if somebody sees his line of ants but but
the thing that's interesting is that for some reason over the
last few weeks, I just have random ants to look around their
scouts but I can't figure out where they're coming from they
show up and there's an ant on the counter and there he goes
and I smashed him and hope maybe another end of Season smash and
take back the message that the answer being smashed bad place
Yeah, I don't want to go hang out.
Yeah
you know, the shanty town thing did come up in the conversation
I'm I'm of the opinion that you're just going to have to
bite the bullet in these towns, these liberal towns and let a
shanty town crop up. It goes on in South America.
I don't I don't like your idea.
I know you don't, nobody does. But it's the most realistic
thing you can do is let's be honest about
you have shanty towns in multiple cities in California
and it hasn't really
produced anywhere. There's no real true shanty town,
every street corner. No, that's
not a shanty town.
Well, okay. I mean, how many how many
it's just a bunch of people hanging around and you know
hanging out with tents? Yeah, no no okay, I'm not talking about
camping. Should they call it now? Homeless camping?
Yeah, not homeless you just camping Lea just
people camping you know I've talked about you get a couple of
acres you put some acres together in an area there's
really some places you can get water to use the above water
truck that would work. Bring it in once in a while and you
everyone have their own buckets and let it look feel Bill little
lean tos. Hmm. Well, to have its own government its way it's like
in Brazil in the favelas. They have their own governments. But
that's my point is the favelas are a huge issue.
Yeah, also with shanty towns but this is dynasty again the other
solution Yeah, but they can't seem to address the problem
correctly. So you might as well just let it fall into third
world style well, it works outside of Africa there's all of
this little towns in Africa there's little shanty towns
outside the cities Missouri they all South America, there used to
be Romani encampments all over Europe and you know, similar to
a shanty town they they move I mean, you can't do anything
about it because we're not doing anything about it. Well, it go
to a fallback position.
So what you're saying is designate an area where the
shanty town can prosper
that make it sound like it's a joke Yeah.
That's exactly what you're seeing
a designated place. This is not your idea alone. People are
saying Hey, make a designated camping ground
and that will it should be a shantytown and camping ground is
no good those tents are no good you want to you know you want to
share anytime you want to kind of thing that people can go and
do reports about oh look, people are living like You're horrible.
And then they show that then there's this open sewer you want
an open Yeah, okay. You could have to design these things. I
Scott Adams has got something like this these more you know,
not going to be like my thinking. You want an open
sewer. So you can be a guest and the open sewer and a turd going
down the sewer. You know, it's just open. You want kids that
are half naked guy wandering around you all dirty you know.
Barefoot barefoot, barefoot. Wally playing, playing with a
rusty can
lots of dogs barking at everything. Yeah, we had a we
had a quasi set shantytown here and in the East Bay over on the
the bulb was called an old x garbage dump that's over by
Golden Gate fields in Albany. There was a there's this big
area that was was in the very far reaches of this is like an
like a peninsula that is built of garbage dumps from from the
20s and 30s. So it's it's green now and they got trees and
everything's growing on it. But there was a huge shanty town out
there was a genuine one you couldn't even go out to it
because there's too many pitbulls you know, guarding the
place, but it was a shanty town they let it go for years and
years and they finally went in there in the middle of the night
and tore it down.
We'll go back to what else we need in the shanty town. I was
kind of enjoying it. We were at barefoot children playing with
open sewers, lot of Lean twos and now there was people being
Yes, yes, very good. Leftover gal. You know, there's the kind
of stuff that you make for kind of a galvanized corrugated
steel. And yes, very good chunks of that and Gort corrugated
fiberglass since he's got this loose, curvy thing and then it's
pounded in and
you always need to have a boat trailer with half a boat on it.
Oh, there's definitely a bunch of boat trailers and half about
people living in the boats, open fires, burn barrels everywhere,
especially in the winter. During the era of Microsoft when they
reportedly moved to Redmond, they were in I think was
Bellevue, I think yeah, we're burger Master is and I think
burger Master is going out of business. Anyway. They they had
a this was told to me by the guy who wrote hard drive the I think
it was hard to do original bill gates. The book on Bill Gates is
a reporter for The Seattle Times. And I had a long chat
with him for some other circumstance and we started
talking about the book and the stuff that he left out. So he
gave me a number of interesting stories that he just they
wouldn't let him run or he couldn't run or didn't have
enough backup for it or it wasn't you know, it was a Vanity
Fair
type job.
Man, I don't know what to put it in that term. But it's just the
normal the norm A B does the way it works. You don't get
everything in that you want and some stuff gets up down and then
you end up Talking about it
on the phone on podcast podcast.
So you ended up finding out about it shows that supposedly
this is all a legend. God Microsoft had a an account. They
were big with hookers in the early days to the point where
they had a an account with some witnesses in the era where there
was a lot of hookers and they had an account at and I would
say what this era was is probably I'm trying to put the
years on it. I'm
gonna say it's probably not early 80s Bush presidency
when they were still in Bellevue is all I can say for sure. All
right. And they had a just an open account. And this is when
Microsoft everyone had their own private offices. Everybody had a
private office at Microsoft so when you would visited the
campus in the early days it was nobody it wasn't one of these
open air things where everyone felt like a drone it was
everyone had every code are going to work so wherever you
did, you had a private office you could close the door and
lock it and you could have a bed in there if you wanted to if you
wanted to spend the night because a lot of coders like to
do that to just stay there. And that was very common in the
early days and they had an open account with Holt with a
whorehouse and and they get we just go on to the bill I don't
know what the petty cash I have no idea how they wrote this off.
But any coder that was lonely could get some girl to come over
and to keep mid mid to place coding
wow and great place to work
yeah but I had to be dynamite that's where you could take a
cut and pay to work there there are benefits are little more
than the free lunch at Google and I was allegedly according to
the source again the writer he says that the that bills
Bill bills Bill Gates his
tally his hooker was actually the madam of the place
why is there no book about this the hidden secrets of Silicon
Valley and hookers?
I'm reminded of a story says you know in California a lot of us
eat a lot of hot chilies. And although not necessarily as much
as some of us do, who are really kind of addicted to the chili
and and I'm quite comfortable with the hottest imaginable food
except some places in India has served food that is
excruciating, and maybe too too much for me. But so I'm in
Brazil. Well, you're a professional job. Let's
just be honest. I mean, let's just call a spade a spade.
Doing what your professional foodie
Yeah.
I'm a foodie. Yeah, yeah. So anyway, so I'm, by the way, the
thing about Chili's for people out there who wants it wants the
big kick. Well, I mean, besides the fact you get a little
endorphin hit. The real kick of Chili's is it actually changes
because it burns out certain taste buds for a short term. It
changes the flavor profile of foods and you actually put in
the food tastes differently and sometimes it's meant to taste
that differently way for you to fully appreciate it. So I'm in
Brazil, where they were they really like hot chilies but not
that many people actually in Brazil eat them but they're all
over the place. And when I go to these churrascaria is which are
these Brazilian barbecue places which are all over the world
now. But any of them outside of Brazil they never have the chili
sauces they hit usually in Brazil, you go to one of these
places where they have these barbecued meats on a sword they
bring out and you ask for this piece or that piece. They have
like this they have these hot some scotch bonnets and these
really little bitty really dinky little peppers that are
extremely hot
and you eat for you before you get to the meat.
The peppers are usually soaked in vinegar or vinegar oil
mixture and is that mixture though the oil and vinegar you
put on the meat. You don't ever eat the peppers. Okay, generally
generally it's just a hot is a really kind of a vert version of
a hot sauces. It's very it can be extremely hot. Anyway, but so
I'm in Brazil, and this guy's you know, in real action in a
little barbecue place right on the beach. And the guy says this
guy, he's another journalist and he's like challenges me to these
peppers think I'm just some sort of went from the United States
who doesn't anything about peppers. So I I say yeah, he
says you do ever have this pepper sauce. I say yeah, those
peppers are are pretty hot. Pretty nice. He says Would you
ever eat one of the peppers? What kind of a child was this
guy? I know he's just a jerk is typical journalist. Anyway, so
oops. Anyway, so he says I said yeah, you want if you eat one,
you know, here we go. Oh mature, he's nice. So he says okay, and
so I took one of the peppers and chewed it up and swallowed. And
it was really it was hot, but it wasn't going tolerably hot. I
mean, there's many a pepper harder than the thing. And he
says, he says, you want it. You don't want to have another one.
I know I said, you want to have another one? Because he put one
in his mouth. And I said, Sure. And so we took another one, I
chewed it up and swallowed it. And you know, and that was kind
of the end of it for about five or six minutes. And then all of
a sudden, out of the blue, this guy turns beet red and starts
projectile vomiting. Well, he doesn't do that. But that's a
funny punchline. But anyway, so he turns beet red, and he's like
dying, sweating. He's drinking water. I said, what happened? He
says, he says, Well, I saw you I said it. He says, I didn't eat
the peppers. I just put them in my mouth and kind of
kept them in his mouth. Oh, no.
And then he says, and then when I saw that you ate them and
swallow them with no problem that I decided. I decided they
can't. They can't be that hot. And so I just took a personal
isn't one of those anecdotes, show for the audience that even
showing how the immature adults can be? Yeah, well, what I mean,
I don't know, you know, this is this happened, I think the real
trend or I'm reminded of the days when I was working for
MSNBC, on a show that they established when Microsoft first
bought the company, where I mean, first formed the company
with NBC News. That's what MS stands for. A lot of people have
long since forgotten. I mean, I remember I was there. And so
they started this thing up and then they wanted to do because
Microsoft was involved. They want to do some tech stuff. So
they did this, this this show called the site and the site
starred Soledad O'Brien and she was on the facts that track to
become a NBC news anchor. And so they gave her this gig so she
could like do a little practice. Although she eventually she got
sidelined by some other ethnic looking woman and ended up
having I think she went the scene and or something like
that, but solely that was really a nice, one of the nicest people
I've ever mentioned. So hopefully, she'll, she'll get
back on the fast track. I don't know what it took her off of it.
But that happens all the time. Now, I had to change the
subject. But we have a woman here in KPI X, who used to be
network at CBS, and then Dana king. And I saw her when she was
doing some network stuff. And she had like, big time news
personality written all over her. She apparently did
something amiss. And then they they gave her this site or to
the local owned and operated affiliate, it's, you know, the,
the KPI X station as a news anchor here is kind of
punishment. And has she's been stuck here ever since now, I
don't think she can ever break away. But she was like, you
know, this is where the show business thing is, is
disconcerning But back to the MS NBC story. So anyway, they had
this show that did develop because Microsoft's pushing them
called the site and it had sold as an anchor and I did some work
going on there. And Leo Laporte had a segment and we did some
debates, and it's the same, you know, usual suspects
you guys are such media horrors, you'll do anything?
Well, you know, they were paying us Okay, anyways,
unlike unlike prostitutes, they were paying you
well, that you made a good point. Anyway, so yeah, no, it's
like what's the difference? So anyway, to the Diana got killed,
as you recall. Yeah. Princess Diana. And they started covering
it 24/7 With pretty meaningless coverage on MSNBC. And they're
ratings went through the
roof. Sure, of course, they did. Yeah.
And so they killed this killed the site. And they killed every
other thing that they that was didn't like celebrity, you know,
but kissing whatever you want to call it kind of programming. And
of course, the site you know, the place has never recovered
and because you know, you can't keep covering Diana forever.
They tried and, and they went right back into the dumper that
it was in to begin with. And then meanwhile, they throw out
any possible interesting properties that they had
started. Anyway, that this kind of decision making at this kind
of level has always been disconcerting to me.
I have to call back though your idea of the homelessness
experience in Disneyland. This is an exit strategy. I think we
could create this ride. Now do you sit in the ride or do you I
think you should also experience for a brief moment you stepping
in human feces
to homeless early stepping in human feces. I guess some of
that are really down and out. staggering down the street all
day. No, no, I
mean, it's the right is the right are you going to actually
experience it like so is it a ride, isn't it? I think the most
enjoyable Disney rides are in a cart, you know, and you got the
music going on here like
You know, but well okay, there's two ways of going about this.
I'm a huge connoisseur of these things. Here we go. This one is
you're in the little car to little car a little thing and
it's going through a homeless encampment and people are all
animatronic. That's like Pirates of the Caribbean. Yeah, exactly
like Pirates of the Caribbean or you're not, you maybe could be,
you know, in a kind of a river of pee. You know, if you ended
kind of stinky pee, that would be okay. But I think generally
speaking, be better on rails. And you go through these things,
and you see all these different people. And then they have you
know, people did you have you go through the section where
there's a bunch of politicians trying to come up with good
solutions. And they finally say, we just need more housing and
you come out the other end of it and you feel real good about
yourself. And you now you understand, you understand
now you have evolved. That's one of the other one
which is the cheaper way to go, is you put your where some VR
glasses or you're in a VR situation, you experienced the
old thing only now it's even more realistic. Not because it's
not animatronics is not. Pies, not dummies and things like
Pirates of the Caribbean is the actual videos that you're
seeing, surrounded by the real stench and filled in and fans
blowing the smell of Craps in your face. And you'd go through
the whole thing, and you're come out the other end pretty much
with the same message, but it's just the cheaper way to do the
ride. Maintenance.
I personally liked the Pirates of the Caribbean version. I like
that a little better. I think it's more fun.
I always liked those rights better than the ones that
are because it's because you go through the city hall with the
council members are all sitting there pontificating then you you
could do without and here's Los Angeles. And here's Austin, you
could have a couple of show some differences.
Oh, yeah. Right. Yeah, you could take the car to one place or
another. And that isn't you know, guys begging for money in
different ways. Along the
ride, people keep coming up to your cart. Asking for money.
Yeah, we're going to hell for this.
The other thing I wanted to say is that, you know, one of the
movies I was wanted people to see and we could talk about at
some point because we were talking about comics, and it was
the movie Best of Show, which is a hilarious movie, but it has a
guy in it named Fred Willard. And Fred Willard, who's who's
done some of the finest invented was invented comedy. I don't
know how old this guy is, but he must be 90 because even though
it doesn't look that old, because it when I was in high
school, which was a while ago, I saw this guy when he was a comic
team called Willard and Greco. And I saw him at the hungry eye
in San Francisco and he was hilarious then, and since then,
and he was also the guy was the sidekick on Fernwood tonight
with Martin Mull. And one of his you know, his his type of humor
is epitomized by this particular joke, which I'll try to explain
which is, the two of them are sitting there. Fernwood tonight
was a fake talk show. That was mocking you know, the talk show
genre. And Martin Martin mole was like the Johnny Carson and
Wheeler was the was the sidekick. And they'd be getting
into some discussion and out of the blue Willer, which out of
the blue make these strange comments. Which, by the way, is
what I have Sebastian Ripley on cranky geeks fashioned after he
make these strange comments. So you know, I don't know why
they've got these ramps on why they put these ramps on all the
sidewalks. Just so skateboarders can go zooming up and down
almost knocking you over. It's ridiculous that they do
something like this. And then Martin Mulgoa says this and he
says that's those ramps are for the handicapped. And without
missing a beat Fred Willard says that's boy I've never seen a
handicapped guy on a skateboard whatever the case I'm on the
Comcast connection today.
Well, that's good because I'm on my iPhone connection today.
Yeah, that's
kind of interesting. I'm just genuine attested to the Comcast
thing falls apart which I don't think it will but it might what
did they have to come out? switchback easily but I the guy
finally a guy came out Corey, who found the problem that I was
having for the last two years.
Let me guess it was a physical wire problem outside.
Yes. Squirrels really,
these fuckers are worse than ISIS.
So the squirrel ate a hole in the cage. You could just barely
see the you know, the luckily didn't eat through the middle of
that copper in the middle, but he ate all the insulation off
the coax. And this one guy who kept monitoring so he got
signaling problems. So you know, I will reboot to reboot the
modem. The modem, it's your fault
use Stupid, stupid user, you
got something
wrong. And so not only that, but it was the line was also kinked.
And then to top things off, the actual coax they were using was
the wrong grade. Oh, wow. So the guy on the right and there was a
fourth
way. There's another one. I just wonder what is the wrong grade?
I think it's called RG 59. It should be RG six, you should
look at your coax is because you may have the wrong grade. Wow it
because in the old grade, which is the one that was coming in
the house is not suitable for high speed even though this
whole thing was wired from the get go for high speed. Anyway,
so that was that. And then there was another right. And besides
that this was the only guy this quarry is the only guy who
actually did anything the other guys come in and they I don't
know you need a new modem.
You don't you know what this is? You know, what this is, is you
once wrote an article How cable modems would never amount to
anything. And at the time you were right. And but these guys
didn't forget that you see,
maybe there was one more item which was that the line was too
hot. So he had to put a little like a choke or some sort of
little, it's
because of what actually happens is you can get a feedback loop I
think.
Yeah, so it was way over the voltage it was just too hot. And
so the attenuated with this little screw on thing. Oh,
metric metric, I'll get used to it a4 paper. I want to say
something here. And now. a4 paper is ugly. It's the wrong
proportions. When you look at a four paper it's too long and
skinny. It looks creepy. It's not. It's not visually it is not
visually
exciting, exciting. It's not
anything is horrible. And all the metric crap a4 papers, the
worst example. It just looks it just feels and looks it's it's
unpleasant. Let's put it that way. Okay, so I feel the same
way about putting the tool to a 140507 kind of thing now.
So a4 paper it's not. It's not a Fibonacci ratio. It's not a
golden ratio. That's the problem. The problem what is the
US what do we what do we have in need half by 11 inches?
What? Eight and a half? inches by 11 inches? Yeah,
well, what is the format called?
It's called Letter
what it's called. All right,
so now that we have started an international incident regarding
the a4 size paper,
I know there's going to be a bunch of these guys who listen
to the show to hate us and they're going to email us waste
his feet and inches is stupid.
A lot of people taking exception speaking of printing to your
your rant against a four.
Yeah. Oh, yeah. At least a half dozen people they get all upset.
Oh, I emailed you not the ones that emailed me as per usual. Ee
a4
Is is tall and thin, like Adam, not fat and chubby like John.
That's objective. I had a thought the other
night. You know, a lot of people still probably don't know the
history of slavery, and that there was the Republican Party,
Abraham Lincoln, in particular, the leader of the country at the
time, who, you know, the Republican who said we got to
stop slavery, and the Democrats and
the Republican party came out of the abolitionist movement.
Yes, thank you. That's even better. And so Republicans were
the abolitionist Democrats were the racists. slaveholding
airholes. Yes. Okay. Now somewhere along the line that
switched, and Republican
Johnson believed.
Okay, I'll finish the sentence. So somewhere along the line that
switched, and then all of a sudden Democrats became the high
and mighty and Republicans became the misogynistic, racist,
anti Semite cinematic, belittle horrible people. Yeah. You said
this came out of LBJ.
That's the thought. Yeah, LBJ made a bit had some recordings
actually where he said that we can we
can make some southern strategy wasn't wasn't part of that
that was taken advantage of what what LBJ was doing. LBJ with his
war on poverty decided that he could set up he believed he was
setting up a system that would make the blacks vote Democratic
for the next 1000 years. And there's some recording of him
talking about this. And when that happened, the Republicans
who were kind of screwed because they're doing this switcheroo,
and so they went to the Southern strategy to pull all these
democrats Now that we're down there who are racists, the
Dixiecrats make them Republicans look through code code words and
the like, supposedly, and now I think the Republicans are
pulling another quick one to get the working class to be
Republicans. Well, I
think that's been happening for a number of years. Well, it has
to
because the Democrats have gone toward the yuppies, and they've
been to white collar workers, they hang out with the bankers
and they're Wall Street oriented. They don't give a crap
about the workers and they just been coasting on the union
support. And so that is easy enough to steal and so that I
think Republicans are the only one to notice you could do this.
And he's the one who did it. And now the Republicans are thinking
about maybe making this switch the irony to this because I've
thought about this with the Republicans switching over or
the I'm sorry, the working class, lower middle, middle and
so on switching to be all Republicans. This makes me think
that Norman Lear and here's a very interesting irony, the All
in the Family Show. Had Archie Bunker as a as a working class
guy, probably a union guy who was a Republican. It was made
zero sense especially during that era because there wasn't a
guy like that my family was this way my dad was kind of an Archie
Bunker type character not in the racist way but in just he's a
working class dyed in the wool Democrat you know, always gonna
vote party line. And that's the way all these people were but
somehow Lee or decided to make him a Republican. That way he
could. He could make the connection that Republicans are
racist, xenophobic, and all the rest of it, which has been
drummed into the Democrats heads because Archie Bunker was but
there was no such guy as Archie Bunker they never existed there
was no Republican working guy like Archie Bunker was bold
crap.
So I wouldn't say that that's where the switch happened was
Archie Bunker this
which may have begun ha because it was like you're watching this
guy. I think it was a mistake. Because you're watching this guy
and you had some was just a working class guy watching
comedies going, huh? Why kind of think like that, too is you guys
bonehead meathead. Whoever's got nicknames for the kid who was
just a tub thumping, you know, radical. And, you know, check
out the Republicans if the Republicans were never open to
it until now. And now I think they're gonna steal that entire
part of the Alexa. That is
that is exactly where I was going is it feels like with this
election, people will eventually wake up because you can't keep
going on and you're in this loop of hallucination forever. No,
and people wake up and say hold on a second. The Democrats are
racist. They feel there's a there's a crossover here. I
think it's gone by we won't notice this for years, probably.
But I believe this is the cross the turning point.
It could be but when you have like that clip, you played that
bigoted comedy writer going on and on with hate, essentially
hate speech as Hey, I just do hate you have to start thinking
to yourself, Wait a minute. How can you be you know you're
pointing the finger but you're exhibiting all these qualities
you're complaining about? It reminds me of that Dutch saying
that you've achieved Think yourself? The health? Exactly.
You are what you say you are? Well, you know, you are what you
say they are.
Yeah, this is worse was gonna say this is worse. Worse. I'm
telling you for us. native ad worse than it is
the pits. It is the pits. It is really bad. We on the other New
York Times, The New York Times is in on this somehow because
there's no way that people are flocking to a taco podcast done
by Taco Bell, or whoever the sponsor is.
There well they say that
talk a little bit about the shell bill. We got Bill in here
from the shell manufacturing facility outside of Nashville.
taco shell makers bill how to build yourself. Yeah. Tell us
what you do. What do you do at the taco manufacturing taco
shell company?
I thought I was gonna be bill you played both roles.
No your bill. Okay. I'm gonna interview bill I got Bill here.
Taco man that tacos John manufacture. Hi, Bill. How you
doing? I'm good. We got Bill on on Skype. Yeah. I'm sorry, Bill.
So you've been doing this taco shells bill. Well,
first of all, thanks for having me on the shell cast. I really,
really enjoy talking about the different kinds of taco shells
that are out there. So far, we found that the one that looks
like a case of D is stuck together. We can't see what's
inside seems to work the best for the for our tacos.
Well, that's not the way Taco Bell taco is Bill. Are you sure
you actually work for Taco Bell? Or are you just a generic shell
maker that Taco Bell buys from your You got a contract?
Oh no. Hey, what this is the shell cast. I got all kinds of
shells, big shells, small shells. I got wacky shells, zany
shells, I got colored shells got some hard shell soft shells. I
got shells.
So you who's the inventor? I was very fascinated by this, by the
way, who is the inventor? I think El Paso makes these and
that the shell has got like a bottom. So it's like it goes
down as a hard shell and it's got a bottom that's about an
inch wide, and then it comes up on the other side. So you can
actually stand up the shell.
Yeah, yeah, that was that Pat. Do we think we should stop lower
ahead?
That's right, everybody, from perfect penmanship to the dirt
as John C. Dvorak goes back in time to tell us all the Kooples
raises that we heard back in the 30s is
pretty good. Hey, you got that voice down? Yeah, yeah, I'm
famous for it. That only works in the music. I can't do it
without the music.
Yeah, because you get into the rhythm. That's pretty good.
Yeah, like that voice. Okay, we were at Cadillac I believe,
which is the last term on this page.
That was Catalog Catalog Catalog. I don't remember I
don't recall what catalog
was a one ounce pack of cocaine or heroin. Ah, yes. How could I
forget we had Canary and then cats or alligators. We got that
cave. We got that. Okay, here we go. This new check or checker?
Cab? No. $1 Ooh, okay. Hey, check your give me give me a
check.
What I wonder what the etymology of that is checker a check.
I have no idea i There might be worth looking into. It is when
you'd might be able to guess. As Chicago overcoat.
Ah, I know Chicago boots.
Because Chicago boots is when they throw in the river. Way
down. It has to do something with gangsters kindling. Yeah.
It means a coffin. Ah, you're close. Yeah. Okay. Good. Chicago
typewriter.
Chicago typewriter.
Yeah. I give up a Thompson submachine gun of
course. I could have known that when I've heard it. Yes, I've
heard the reference a typewriter. Yeah, that
that that that's also the synonyms are chopper. Yeah. And
get
ya get Gatling a Gatling gun again. Yeah.
Okay, a chisel. Chin.
The guys that Chiseler I don't know. swindler a cheat and it
works at an angle. Okay, here's, here's one of my favorites.
Cinder dick.
Cinder dick. I'm writing down as a possible show title.
Regardless. Cinder Dick can use a cinder dick in a sentence.
Hey, let's get out of these box cars before the cinder deck
comes along.
So that's the conductor of the police. The railroad police
railroad detective There you go. All right. Couple more and then
we'll close this segment.
Dog soup.
Dog soup. In a sense, I'm
Stein sometimes known as city juice
I'm gonna pass
Hey, Mabel, give me a glass of that city juice.
Oh water. Gotcha.
clambake
has something to do with lesbians but I'm not sure.
Now. It's a wild swing. Nice try.
Clip joint
clip joint. Yeah. A whorehouse
a nightclub or gambling joint where patrons get Flim Flam MD
inflammed Flim Flam copper.
Policeman. Yes,
crumb.
Small time criminal. A fake
or a loser by social standards. I think you're back and you're
gonna have to pass. I think you got a full point. Okay, thank
you. crust crust. Well, of course I immediately get a pie
crust in mind. Crust now to insult
Oh to dis
gotcha yeah my belt Oh criss cross this this crust crust this
Yeah.
Curve. Curve. Yeah, and I think you need to context boy that
threw me a curve.
unexpected event
disappoint this. Oh, disappointment. Okay,
yeah. Uh huh. I don't know. Why this is on here, but I'll read
it. It'll be our last one. Cute as a bug's ear means very cute.
Let me do another one. That was that's not a really a good one.
No. A cement mixer.
Some cement mixer. Yeah, maybe that's the guy who kills the
guy.
Yeah. Cement Mixer was through a slang for a bad dancer. Wow.
Okay,
that's not the best one I was one something I can use in
modern no
he very few. I mean, we have detectives next which is Dick
Seamus gum shoe and flat foot. I'm gonna close. I think there's
no
interdict just for everything. Like, you know, it's not a dirty
30. But someone sent me a term that I've used that we use in
the 70s, which I liked synonymous for television. The
boob tube?
Yeah, the boob tube. I think that's still in play. Really?
Yeah. Thanks. So you know, I did have column and PC Magazine
sometime in the 90s. I recall. Because I was kind of annoyed by
the word nerd. Okay. And so and no one had ever done an
entomology of the word. And I mean, they did, but they were
all laying blame. And they're all guessing it was almost like,
you know, the, again, the 12 year old saying, I think it came
from here. I think it came from there, right. And they were
getting it from ne'er do well, which made no sense to me
whatsoever. So I started doing as much research as I could. And
I finally tracked it down. And then I checked with, with Dr.
Seuss, from the White House, literally, and it came from a
1950s book. If I ran the zoo. That's the first use of the word
nerd and I'd know I could find no predating of since night from
1950. I couldn't find anything in the 40 studies of anyone ever
using the word it began usage with this character. And it was
a little bitty nerdy looking guy. So I mean, nothing but
sense to me that this was really what the animals so
it's a it's a made up word made up by Dr. Seuss. Yeah.
Cool. So it's made it by Dr. Seuss as a nerd. And so I so I
confirmed it with Seuss and, and his assistant. And a guy says
his name, I can't remember his first name the writer. And he
was a pretty old then. But he teed note he made it up. And he
didn't realize that it was the you know, it was the formation
of the word nerd. I wrote this, all this history out. And so
then. So I thought it was kind of cool that I developed, you
know, found out the origins of this word. And so then I went
and did the kind of the kicker to the story is I went to the
Universal Studios Park in Orlando, and they had an if I
ran the zoo exhibit. The Nerd was not in it today.
And so you complained bitterly? No doubt? Well, it just seems to
me that of all the things in this modern age that you'd want
in this exhibit the nerd 1000 at a party. I won't say who's
played what's one of these guys? I think, actually, I think I
think it was the CEO of Intuit. And there's a big mansion,
Scott. And so there's this party there. And there was something I
was in one of the rooms talking to somebody and there's this one
very cynical guy, making me look like a normal guy. And you were
talking about well, you know, there's a lot of you know, I was
I was actually promoting the valley thing as a way that a lot
of ideas and stuff are generated. And I was I don't
know why it was so uptempo, you were smoking the dope. No, I was
not smoking anything. In fact, there was really I wasn't even
drinking much. Maybe that's the problem. But anyway, whatever
the case, this guy says, What are you talking about? He says,
this whole thing is just a big scam. All these guys are just a
bunch of salesmen selling crap to the public. There's like
there's nothing to it. It's shallow. It's just making money
from the making of money sake. And he went on and on and
everyone think I walked away going, you know what he's right.
So anyway, there's a very interesting story here in the US
that people should fall in. We have a thing on the blog called
a police state news bulletin. And this is the more interesting
one. This is the most interesting one recently. It
looks like in a park in Columbus, Ohio, the police
decided to take one of their officers and strip her naked and
she was they put her in the park to see what kind of perverts
they could
lower their picture.
There's kind of a blurry picture, you can see it's
nothing. If she looks like just a naked girl in a park, you
know, that'd be feminine in the Berkeley area. I mean, this is
like the Senate. I know how they do it here. But anyway, so they
used to have these naked citizens in Berkeley. They still
do them. It's horrible. By the way, it's like something you
don't ever want to see. It's just a lot of naked misshapen
people and you just shaking your cringy actually, you get your
like, have you have to shake for about a week after you've
witnessed this? Anyway, so this woman was there and some guy who
happened to be a firefighter goes over there. And he says,
you know, this is what would make a girl in the partners
interesting. So he goes over to search chatting with her. And
then she starts, you know, doing everything short of fondling,
and she puts her legs on him and she's, you know, flirt and and
she, she, you know, says what so what do you got inside there big
boy kind of thing. And so itself
it was their camera. I mean, what was this like a reality
show?
They have? Yeah, no, it wasn't a reality show. It was It wasn't
that crazy. You know, NBC? Yeah, it was simple. But they can they
do have videoed, and it's available, you can link to it
from the original site. And the so the rest of the sky for, you
know, a pervert, you know, because he's obviously much you,
you know, if you're, if you're heterosexual male attracted to a
naked girl, you are obviously for whoever you're a pervert.
And so they found and he's a firefighter, which is really too
bad. Especially if he went they weren't what they found him
guilty. And they couldn't do anything about the entrapment
laws or anything like that. And some people in my blog pointed
out that some of the entrapment laws have actually been
circumvented by new legislation that's been slipped in where
it's legal to do anything. Oh, of course. So. And meanwhile,
stories on top of the story that's even more ludicrous,
which is, tops, patrol the subway system, or leaving
objects laying around, like a wallet, or an iPad. And if
somebody picks one of these things up, boom, you get it. You
get it for whatever, I'm not even sure what the crime is, but
they figure it's a crime. And so they've arrested over 300
citizens who just pick stuff up even though in New York, there's
a law that says, if you find something valuable you have you
have 10 days to turn it in. They don't care. They just rested him
anyway, because it is one way to get your numbers up.
Big news came out. As we kind of expected the Amazon has part
well, we're not going to say Amazon will say doorbell camera
company ring, owned by Amazon has partnered with 400 police
forces across the United States, granting them potential access
to homeowners camera footage, and a powerful role in what the
community calls the nation's new neighborhood watch. The
partnership allows police to automatically request video
recorded by homeowners cameras within a specific time and area.
Helping officers see footage from the companies, millions of
internet connected cameras installed nationwide. I just
want to read that again. Helping officers see footage from the
companies, millions of internet connected cameras installed
nationwide. Now you're the company's customers. But okay,
they're yours I guess, probably in the EULA. Officers will not
receive ongoing or live video access, and homeowners can
decline the requests, which ring sends via email. And I have a
feeling that if you don't respond, they just do it anyway.
And why the hell wouldn't they allow access regardless of what
you say? This is so bad. We have created a security state in our
own neighborhoods that everybody on my street has them. You
cannot walk on my street without someone seeing you. You must
obey. That's exactly what it is. I find this very disturbing and
I don't know what to do. You can't vandalize them because
everyone sees you're walking up so I don't know what is there
any any thinking on how we can
you can vandalize them. Yeah, but I don't want to be caught
vandalized.
Here's how you do it. Low tip for any vandals out there and we
probably have a few few listeners who are vandals you
know, the humorous, humorous ones. You put a ski mask on, run
out of your house as fast as you can. But firstly, first of all
you bought put a piece of wood or something in front of your
own worrying. And then she was like It's like oh, I didn't know
is
going too fast. I gotta take notes. Hold on. Okay, put a
block of wood. Wood. Wood differently. Your own rings.
gaffers tape me okay. All right, wood. Yes, wood guy
put a ski mask on grab a spray can of joining us rope. For this
as well. Just a spray can a black like a maga hat. Use rust
oleum paint because it's got some chemicals in there that
might scratch it. Have the lens. Yeah. And then run over to your
neighbors and spray the thing as fast as you can making sure that
you're not being you can't be seen from other ring doorbells.
Good leaving your own house. If you can make sure that then you
can do it.
No, the whole street is while we're on a cul de sac. So we're
blanketed all the way around.
I don't think you can see your porch from another house.
The minute you get on the street, everybody can see you.
So the minute you walk out your driveway. Everybody can see me
in this configuration. We're going to call the sack that's,
that's where we live. So I don't like your idea. I wish there was
something I wish I could Can you destroy him with a laser? You
know, can I shine a laser? Well, that used to ruin cameras? That
won't work anymore? Will it?
I don't think a laser is going to do much. I mean, it's
possible from a distance if you had a high enough output laser,
which is probably illegal to begin with. Something you don't
want to play with. You could probably blast them, you know,
one at a time, but you have to be a pretty good shot. Yeah.
Yeah. But again, you know, you, oh, maybe a drone, maybe a drone
with a spray can attachment or something that's, that would now
you're thinking
with a spray can attachment or like wood is one of those drones
that holds like a 45. And
the judge strap the judge to my drone will take care of that for
you.
Okay, well, what I hate the most about TV, I think is what you
were referring to.
It's okay. Just go ahead. So
I want you to play this. What I hate the most about TV is video.
You saw two examples of it. I saw it on Shark Tank does this
constantly. And I don't like the show. I don't like Shark Tank.
Bunch of glib guy. It's just it's it's just not if I don't
like the show, you know,
they asked me like, do they ask me to be on that show?
As with the product as a show as a shark? Oh, why don't you do
it?
Well, I'll tell you why. They call up and I say, that'd be
great. I'd be fantastic on the show. I think I can evaluate it
pitches. I've been through a couple and said okay, and you'll
invest. I said I'm not gonna invest a dime in any of that
crap, though. You have to actually invest a bit. Wait, so
you're telling me that you don't you don't have a budget that
gives these schmucks with their ideas, some money these all
these sharks invest their own money. They really do it. Yeah,
they really do. It's okay, I'm out. What am I gonna Hey, I will
take 50% of your company for $800.32 from my podcast money,
so they must think you're loaded. While this is a long
time ago.
Oh, when you were loaded?
Yeah. Right. Yes. And even then I'm like, I'm not doing that.
We're gonna sit on your TV show for this. No.
But that had been fun. No. Anyway, so they do this on the
show they do it on did Ramsey does it this is from the cooking
show. One of the ones where they have the home cooks and they all
come out and Ramsay can't really yell and scream at him too much.
And they do it on a lot of that they do this on voice. They do
this on they do this on all the shows. And I just am sick of it.
But play this clip.
I'm trying to think oh, I got it. Here we go. Peasy Nutella.
But sadly there can only be one winner Oh, I know. The home cook
receiving a major advantage and the upcoming challenge that
person is going to come it's time for a getaway Yes. Yes.
Yeah,
well of course we're doing that you wait for the reveal and then
commercial break
so every one of these things because television the way it is
now there's other things to watch. And so when they do this
when they go to the commercial and if it's on the DVR I mean if
it's on the DVR, just skip the commercials anyway, but they go
and here's so I done this case, I said oh crap. And so I went to
start watching them something I never went back to the show.
Never went back to the show. I don't know who was looking back
on it. Who cares? This is just a stupid show TV. We're watching
too much TV anyway. And I'm not going to be suckered by one of
these. These all and a winner is and then they cut to commercial
and then you have to watch a bunch of commercials. You know
what I don't care who the winner is? Is that is no as we used to
say in the olden days. It's no sweat off my balls.
I always heard back or maybe California had a different
saying
this is a phenomenon I have in my house. Oh, okay. Listen,
people said sim is a swing phenomenon. And so I hear at the
end the volume we're going to hear Hear this is what I'm
hearing and play the mockingbird clip and this is what I'm
hearing in my in my downstairs
um this is MK Ultra man.
No I so I am multi Mockingbird. So I have a mockingbird I've
always had mockingbirds in the area and then this by the way
this is if you want to play a little more than I do I don't
have to Yeah, like you recorded this yourself things about this
bird. This bird has no talent. You should be ashamed of
himself. But that's beside it. He's got no rhythm. He's got no
song. He's just doing his normal Mockingbird thing. He stinks
I've had plenty of mocking birds that can do a variety of noises
that it just astonishing. This now this guy does have a car
horn. I'll play you can play that car alarm.
Why the bird This bird has a car alarm?
They all do oh I was not aware. Yeah. And that was this. This is
a recording play in the background as I explain what
this is. This is a recording that you put on your trading
website right?
No, this is no that's the birds of that's a Holland thing. This
is no this I am going to post this but I haven't yet. And what
it is is that that does Mockingbird or any Mockingbird.
But this particular one in particular, he likes to get on
top of the chimney. And he uses the chimney itself as a
resonance vehicle to make his voice
heard. Have you considered shooting him with a BB gun?
Now I'm not shooting No, you can't shoot mocking birds. They
add a nice little thing to your play in the background as I'm
playing it in the background. So he's got he gets on top of the
chimney and he starts getting his way up there. So he's making
a bunch of racket and he goes straight down to Gemini into the
house. No. Yes. At this volume and you go off the mockingbird
and $3 down
Did you light a fire?
No no, no. But I did take the recorder I took the h2 and I
stuck it in the in the fire but chat room says
standing wave Mockingbird.
Mockingbird so it makes it so when you're in the house it
sounds like the mockingbird is in the house. Got it. So it's
actually quite amusing to me. But I will give a washing
detergent tip for people out there listen to no agenda show
for these rare
gentlemen a washing machine tip from John C. Dvorak.
Okay, so I was good course a part of my job I was meeting
with in some situation with Colgate Palmolive. And they told
me given this tip before on the show, but I think people should
should know it. If you're going to buy detergents, whether it's
a dishwashing detergent, or laundry detergent or anything
that's you expect to clean something with, always get the
liquid.
Always the liquid. Yes. And
here's the reason okay, I was told what's happened over the
years is some of the stuff that the way laundry detergent was
first discovered was they they led to a bunch of the soaps that
they made dry up and it became flakes and so they developed a
laundry detergent. It was just a powder and you dump it in and
you clean with it. But
it was basically a secondary product. It was a byproduct of
the original
Yeah. Oh but you can't but what happened was they banned all the
phosphates and other chemicals that used to be great cleaners
that you could turn into powder.
And why did you ban them? Was it killing people?
No, it was environmental it was the EPA and others because it
was making like blooms of algae and lakes and it was causing you
know water lilies to grow out of control it was it was it's a
food for the phosphates are a food for plant life. And so it
was a problem. So they banned all this stuff. So they had to
reformulate to to produce these new chemicals that did as good a
job of cleaning but they could not make it into a powder. It
wouldn't powder arise. So they started selling this idea of
liquid and so liquid if you want to have anything that actually
cleans unless you're in Mexico or they still sell the old
original stuff, but if you want to in the United States if you
want anything that actually cleans and and works it has to
be liquid
now. First of all, thank you for this tip that is let me just
jump ladies and gentlemen Jhansi Dvorak with a tip and only the
tip as he is no mister tip would you since you know of course, we
talked about all kinds of products on the show products
that we like products that we don't like because we're not
paid we don't know advertisement. I would like to
know what is your liquid detergent of choice.
I do like tide. But knowing that these formulations are pretty
universal I buy I'll buy anything if it's on sale. So I
use tide I use air I use all I use all I used to pens but I'd
been tied, I believe to be probably one of the best
formulations you could buy, especially the ones and but
there's a lot of different formulations you have to kind of
pick and choose which one you want. If you want the fake
bleach that's in TIDE, which is actually an enzyme
I'll tell you I'm a I'm a tide man myself. Yeah. And that is
because for the three months I went to college in West
Virginia, my roommate, Tyree Hamilton, from Newark, black
kid, he, he taught me how to wash my clothes properly. He
also taught me how to moisturize let me tell you the black guys
know how to moisturize and so and he said tide man nothing
ever it's only tide he did there was no I don't remember if we I
think we had liquid. But I've been a tide the tide man ever
since.
So when I was in high school, I was one of the lucky slash
unlucky appointees to the mild un. One of those kids that was
in the Model UN they have this around. You're a globalist early
on how interesting. Oh, yeah, absolutely. And so the model you
our mock you and I think it was also called as the Model UN and
they every school got to send two representatives as though it
was a country to the MCC, the Model UN and that thing was in
Berkeley, they had it of course, that one of the big auditoriums
at Cal. And so we all went there and stayed in a hotel, they put
us up in a hotel in downtown Berkeley. And me and my wife,
pal was Bill Katie, we ended up spending most of our time
tossing toilet paper rolls out the window to see if they would
unravel and make a streamer. But during the model you and you
learned Robert's Rules of Order, which have all these points of
order points of information points at this point at that
point at this point to that, and there's a there's a relatively
maybe there's about 12 of them. But in that event that you were
listening to, they had they're making some up. I mean, there
was there was no there's no such thing as a point of cliche or
whatever. At one point of personal privilege. No point of
personal privilege is one of them.
Oh, pointless debate points point of information.
That's one of them. I think it was point of debate or something
they said that was not one of muddles other than was point of
orders. The main one point of information pointed to a point
of personal privilege, those are all real. And so when you went
to this thing, it was a big uns assembly and it had you had a
little signage and you sat there like, like, one of those UN
ambassadors and you and I don't know what they accomplished. I
do know that it kind of was childish in the way that we just
witnessed with the DSA, it was a lot of pointed, disappointed
that it was trying to show off that they know the rules. And so
they wanted to say something, we didn't have the pronoun thing,
obviously. But it was it, that's what I was reminded of, I was
reminded of kind of a high school group, you know, trying
to, you know, figure out the world and they're up there in
some fake meeting. And it was it was borderline pathetic. I was
at one time there was a sales guy that took a liking to me
because he couldn't sell me anything. So he he was an
insurance guy just when I was in college, and I have pretty
decent not great sales resistance. And I've run into
people that I can't i There's no way I'm going to get out of it.
I just okay, I'm out of here. I've got whatever you want. But
most people I can resist and if you go to the Middle East and
deal with some of these, these Arab and Lebanese and some of
these sales guys, you're just generally speaking, you're not
gonna lose a lot of money, but you got to pay up. You don't get
out, never gonna get anywhere. When most Americans are the
typical East Western sales guys, you know, they have all these
tricks and they go from one to the other to the other. This guy
went through the entire litany, and he kind of ended with this
condemning type of sales pitch, and he never could get break me.
And so eventually, he said, You know, I like you bought me a cup
of coffee and that was the end of it. But which I thought was a
personal victory victory for you. I had a similar situation
just recently when I took my car over to get it washed at this
place. I kept seeing this in Marin County. It's a washing
place it's off on the other side of the Richardson Bay Bridge.
And it is there's a cars out there and they're scrubbing them
down and it is like a hand wash that has a machine augmentation.
And you go I say gotta get my car washed or go in there. To
guy has a sales pitch for for this $500 worth 1000 wax job
where they actually coordinate but this other stuff on they put
this other stuff on and they put this other stuff on it. And so I
got to tell the story. If you go Mike, can
I can I just Guess the ending did your 25 year old Lexus come
out looking like a 2019 model.
I never bought into it because I luckily did not have any I just
was gonna go to pay cash for a thing and I didn't have 500
bucks in cash and that was, that was my out. It was great. I
would love to do this. I will come back and do this later. But
I only have $60 in cash. And so I gotta get a gas gas filled and
I gotta get a wash. Okay, he finally gave up I realized I was
telling the truth. But but one of the things he did was at the
back of the of the car, he had us half of the of the trunk
area. He had to polish polish and polish and polish. And then
he did he did a whole section he said feel that feel that and you
felt it. It was really smooth and clean. It was like wow,
yeah, it's great. He said, Well, the whole car be like, Yeah, I
don't want to get 60 bucks. Okay, so I go through a comes
through the washing machine comes out the other end, they
wipe it down and do all what they do, which is kind of
interesting in itself. And then I go on, I say the first thing I
do is I check that area. It was no different than the rest of
the car. When I was doing the Tech TV show silicon spin, we
used to have different people on I used to have Danny ash on a
lot. And all kinds of who's Danny ash. Danny. Yeah, she was
Danny. She was the one that she she makes like we figure $4
million a year do it just softcore Okay, she's a soft core
girl. And she has a bunch of she has her sights. Danny's hard
drive. Oh, Danny's hard drive. Okay, I've heard of that. Sure.
And she would sweetest thing you ever wanted to me. She's
gorgeous, too. And she'd be honest, but she's a business
woman. She's actually a hard core business woman. And she
would have some real interesting insights into all this stuff.
And her husband was like, like a lawyer. She was like the
business woman. He's a lawyer. She's a stripper or not a
stripper. But whatever she was she showed, you know, she, she
did like an exhibitionist, that's, you know,
high end, sexy shots, hot shots,
right? That's about it. But she would make it. We did some
calculations at the time. And this was in the late 90s 98,
maybe 99. Something like that, that we finished was my about
2.5 Based on her numbers and the rest of what we knew, but I have
other people would come through this show and they were porn
people and they were you could tell that they were being
corrupted by Danny less so because she was, you know, I
think she was pretty. Just a normal exhibitionist type of
woman. But other people you could see especially men, you
could see them just slowly creeping toward that. Let's wear
let's I think I'd look pretty good with that big gold
necklace. Yeah, exactly. Maybe I should open my shirt up a little
bit more. You know, growing some hair here with a gold necklace.
I think it's gonna look pretty good look. Yeah, that's really
nice. You can just see him falling into it. I you know, I
could grease my hair a little more. I think maybe that will
look good. What about a mustache?
How about you not screw it? How about your vodka lesson do the
vodka lesson.
All right. Years ago, when I went I went to I don't know why
this isn't something that everybody doesn't do because we
kind of do it a lot at the various House in Washington. We
have a whole cellar full of these things Mimi does a lot of
these witches are infused vodkas. It's really a great
thing. I you know, I didn't think much about it until I
ended I don't want to brag about where I was I was in Jakarta at
some fancy nightclub. It's on somebody else's tab. And you
know, I wanted some I don't know we wanted some some drink. We're
going to try this drink and the guy. It was like it involves
still Stoli pepper vodka. And the bartender says, you know
that Stoli pepper Vikas not really that good. You want to
try my pepper vodka. And I said, Sure. And so he brought out a
bottle of vodka that had a bunch of Serrano's in there, like a
bunch of them in there. And try that and realize that his pepper
vodka was like, so much better than the commercial stuff, which
Ravi uses some. There's no peppers in there, they probably
just have some liquid they squeezed in there. So I started
doing my own pepper vodka and other vodkas infused vodka,
including the ones with the bison grass, which is really one
of the best five because it's called buffalo grass, or bison
grass. In it's a it's a, it's a sweet, it's also called Sweet
Grass in this country and you take about, take a little pile
of it, not too much, and you put it in some vodka and it adds is
outrageously Now what kind of vodka do you need to use as your
base?
Just to any vodka, any plain vodka? You know, the Stoli you
want to? Stoli is fine, it's not the best vodka, the best vodkas.
The Vikas actually do taste different from vodka vodka. If I
was going to just recommend a vodka out of the blue, I would
recommend the Costco Kirkland vodka that's made in France. And
because everybody in their sister and Costco will admit to
this knows that that's Grey Goose Ah,
okay, that's interesting and it's cheap. It is much cheaper
than Grey Goose
obviously, is to half the price it's not even half as beyond
have to
wait a minute. So a bottle of Grey Goose is what? 50 bucks 40
bucks.
Now it's about at Costco, it's I think 3535 When the Grey Goose
or the Costco stuff, the Grey Goose, and cost goes like
14 1516 $19 for leader 1.75 liters is a big giant bottle. So
there's your tip right there, everybody go buy this and then
send the extra 14 bucks to the no agenda show.
I think I mentioned this after the show. And you said you
didn't say it on the show? I thought I did. But I'll say it.
I'll say it now, which when I was a kid, and that's what we
were taught. We were taught that the Amazon is the you know, get
produces all this oxygen. And it's like very crucial that it's
remained intact. Yes.
I think I've learned similar. Yeah.
Just just reminds me of the International Geophysical Year,
which I believe was 1957
and was recorded by Steely Dan.
Then, before, before the International geophysics Year,
everybody would in the schools would teach that it's just a
coincidence. That if you look at a globe, that South America kind
of fits into Africa, like a like a couple of jigsaw puzzle, kids.
Oh, yeah. I always heard no, no, no, you think that fits now? No,
no, no, that's just such bullcrapping Oh, man, that was a
coincidence. Yeah. And then the International Geophysical Year
appeared. And they determined Dave desperately discovered
tectonic plates. And it realized that yes, it was once one giant
landmass. And it moved away very slowly. But it did fit. Which
was the which was the first thing you you'd see, when you
looked at a globe. Logically, it looked like it fit with fish,
and they're trying to deny the the OPT VivoCity of it.
Why were they denying it? And when now it's it's generally
accepted as true.
baffling, it just became some sort of a standard, you know,
somebody? I have no idea. They didn't want to believe it. I
guess it was like, No, that can't possibly be true, because
that means it would be one giant landmass. And we have no
evidence of such a thing.
Yeah, three, four topics sounds about about right. Maybe if we
do it once a week. Yeah, my word I think.
Yeah, I think that's a good idea. I don't think we I don't
think we can sustain this length. Because sometimes, I
mean, the the, the interview you had with Dr. Ron was worth
discussing for a while. Yeah.
True. Okay. So what we'll see, but this, I would say I agree.
This is maybe a little bit on the long side, but just under 40
minutes is pretty much the max, I think. Yeah, I agree.
Well, you have it Yeah, I
agree. A giblet is an order. Yeah, I think so. And you know,
just just run it through YouTube. So you get their
captions and just take that verbatim. It'd be even funnier.
I might just do that. That's funny.
Thank you very much, sir. Roopa and waffles for executive
producing and putting that together a quite a job to pull
all those stories out of over 1000 What am I saying? 1200
episodes. Thank you for your courage, because it truly took
some time to dive in and do all that. Go watch. Yeah.
Yeah, well, anyway, I'm glad I had these stories to tell. And
I'm sure there's more stories to come.
And you know what? It's codified. Your life matters,
because it's out there in 1000s of different copies of NP
threes. There you go. We'll be back. On Thursday, right after
Christmas with another episode of the no agenda show. They'll
be 1202 Until then. Have a very Merry Christmas and adios mofos
I'm Adam curry.
And I'm John C. Dvorak. Merry Christmas,
everybody. We'll talk to you right after the big day. Adios.